Sad Night

I am sad... Crying... For Wei Lun(taiwan artist)~ She just passed away... I just knew it from the newspaper and website... She got badly injured in the car accident on 27 Jan.. Right now I am thinking... Her friends must be sad n crying badly now... I totally can understand how it feel when one of friend leaving u in this way... I am so sad about this... She is still young~ 28 years old... and She is just starting to be more famous(although she is already popular in taiwan).. *sigh* Rest In Peace... Wei Lun...

Its made me think of my grand mother... She passed away about 6 years ago... Till now I still... Cannot forgive myself... I am such a bull shit to my grand mother... I love her very much... More than my own parent... Cause she is always be there when I am sad or alone... But when she fell in sick... Everything changed(is a very long story)... I did take good care of her at the first few time... I study to get know which is the best for her to eat(for healthy)... Which she shouldnt eat... But... Her memory become very bad.. Sooner she changed like a kid.. Is very weird for me.. and My mom started telling me how bad is she(last time she is kinda fierce on us)...I started feeling "hate" on her...So I stop visiting her... I pretend that I am busy at school... Or I just dont go inside the house to see her Even I am there... I still remember I heard grand mother said this to my mom... "Where is sum?? Why dont come n visit me one? Why she angry me?" I speechless... If u ask me why... I can tell u... I dunno why...

Until the day... Mom receive Uncle's phone call... He said grand mother Is weird.. Sleeping so long di and not moving... Is like... When I reach there... I saw grand ma... Not moving anymore... Yea.. Passed away... She is gone... Never come back... I cant even say a word to her anymore... I still owe her a sorry... She just leave like this... Left me behind.. Left me live with all the regret... I still not yet say sorry and take good care to her... and I just realise... Crying is useless... Cry how many days still... She wont be alive anymore... and Now... I am living with my regret... Sometime when I think about her... I will cry for a while.. Never end for these 6 years... Po~ I really miss u... Really miss u...

Share something with u guys.. The ambulans car... really neat and hot one... There is once... Grand ma faints.. U know how silly I am? I keep crying and keep crying cause I scare gran ma will go... From the time we send gran ma to hospital then move to another hospital with the ambulans... Non stop crying.. and Its only me sitting with gran ma inside the ambulans car... I stop crying only when I heard doctor said she is ok... Hahahaha.. How funny I am...

Bad Luck Days

T.T... I got bad luck since yesterday... It didnt seem like leaving me so soon(the bad luck)... *sigh* Know what happened on me?? Oh yea... I went skating... Everything I do, I fall.. Even the spin or jump that I am good in it... T.T... Almost lost axel... Double Salw? Dont ever think about it... *sigh* Back to the Chinese New Year performance practise part... I dunno Its me dreaming or I accidently step something... I suddenly fell n land on my knees nmy knees swollen... GOD!!! Imaging how PAIN its... But I still have to continue practise... T.T

Pain Pain n Pain! Go back with my swollen knees... I thought I am already bad luck enough... Nah.. Guess what had happen then? XD The car door.... Squash my finger!!!! I pain till I cried... Guys~ It really so "HIGH" for me... Painful non stop coming from the swollen knee n finger... "fucking high~"

After this two serious case... I seem like cant get out from getting hurt by things... =.=" Pick up phone call... feet accidently "kick" the corner of the table..Pain! Went out for dinner... The chair scratches my leg when I am moving it... *...* PAIN PAIN PAIN~

T.T My bb rub the medicine for me before I sleep... So now my knee is getting better.. At least not that swell anymore...

*sigh* Today my luck didnt seem like getting back to good one~ Just now.. I sit on the nail cutter =.=" (my butt T.T) and this afternoon... I touches the wall while the paint is still wet (yea my house is painting now)... *sigh*

What kind of bad luck is this T.T.. When will it ever end?

Days

Hehehe... Being busy and lazy to post... :p Finally feel free to post something here... Ok... These few days nothing special happen... Went ice skating for 2 days and 2 days staying at home... Skip my piano class :( *sigh*

Staying home doing what? CakeRO dude~ XD... Finally they do a donor replacement... So I got donor stuffs back with my friend's receipt... ^^ Gonna tell him(my friend) that... Feel so happy when I got them back... LoL but I took a wrong colour's valkyrie helm =.="... Blue Black Wings + White Valkyrie Helm... How weird T.T... So I am waiting for next month's donor trades... Man I love chance card... Its fun to play... Hahahaha... Collect berries Pbs n Bbs at once... Almost every monster u killed and they drops it... v(^.^)v I made some new friends inside but I lost some too... *sigh* RO always made me so sad is true... T.T

About skating... I decided to continue.. Hahahaha... Know what???!!! I landed Double Salcow(just 2-3 times)... I Feel Good!! XD Axel too ^^ Finally got its ass back~ I Love Skating!!! ~again~ Hahahahhaha.... Flying Sit Spin n Flying Camel~ Wait For Me!!!! All Double Jump I am coming to get u!!!!

Skating Day

Since I already decided to join the performance on ice for chinese new year.. So this morning I woke up early and ready to go practise skating... Damn pissed off cause I got scold by the cashier(I lost my student card)... What calm me down? LOL.. Shopping!!! I bought my dream pants...Nike and Oreef... and a Puma T-shirt... Damn the T-shirt I bought is XL size >.<... T.T... So I become happy back with my new clothes... Simple right? XD LoL..

There is something funny happened to me when I am trying the new clothes in the fitting room... The fitting room door cut my toe and bleed... But I dont care and still trying a lots of clothes... LOL I start skating around 3pm... Try to get back all my skill.. GOD... I AM UBER HAPPY when I didnt fall on my first axel.. But today my spins seem a bit bad... Finally... My axel came back to me... Hehe.. Hii Ning said I can jump quite high... *shy* Sigh~ Always when I am about to give up... It came back to me... :(

Today I just ate twice... Breakfast and Dinner.. >.< UBER HUNGRY when I wanna take my lunch but wait until dinner time... Sigh~ BB so busy today :(

HOLY! U GUYS GUESS WHAT I FOUND... There is another "SALES" coming soon! >.< I WANNA BUY T.T Sigh~ Probally cannot buy anymore... Sad~

New Day

Today consider a good day... Nothing bad happen... Slept at my bf's house last night.. So this morning we woke up early and go to work together... Today I sold a pair of RF2 skate(high lv skate) to a beginner skater... Cause our RF4(beginner skate) out of stock and since she like the RF2 too... So she bought the skate and some others skating stuffs... Hehe... v(^.^)v

LOL.. Today whole day we(me and my bf) are playing with my bf's brother's iguana... The iguana ran away yesterday and his brother cant find it(he is about to cry)... Till night when my bf got ice hockey training... It came out from somewhere and seem like got injured a bit(poor little thing).. I put it back to it's place.. Bought some vege for it(damn not fresh one.. damn giant cheat money).. We make it's house become nicer now(draw something and stick in XD).. So I hope it wont feel lonely and ran away again... Awww... Miss it so much( its staying in the shop) >.<

I decided to join my first performance for chinese new year on ice... ^^ Thanks Siau Chian... She accompany me in the performance... So I guess I have to start practise now... I love performance btw.. Haha!

Everything Over

Yea... Finally calm down from being hyper active... Everything is over now... I gave up my friendship(because of my own's problem)...(Poor them have to take my bad temper... I am really sorry)... Giving up my family(might move to my bf's house)... I am tired now... I am thinking should I give up my piano too since my piano at my house and I cant practise anymore... *sigh* I am still thinking... Why all this happen to me? Why cant I have a happy family? huh?

I wish I never grow up.. Then I dont have to think so much... and I still remember my family quite happy that time even we are a bit poor... But every week we have the family day... Is happy.. But everything gone when I grow up and dad start being ricer a bit... Now... His car is his everything... I still remember there is once.. I scratch his car accidently but also cut my hand.. Guess what happen? My hand is bleeding but he scold me because of that scratches... Until now still... Hahaha... Isnt it funny? I am his daughter but just not important than a car..

Mom? Hahahahahaha... Mom~ A good one.... Really speechless about this mom... A mom that always throw her daughter alone at home since I am in secondary school... ^^ Isnt it cool? :p Nope.. She never work after married with my dad... Mom oh mom... I wanna ask... Why u always keep saying "no" to me? As sample : "Mom wanna go shopping with me?" "NO" "Mom can u bring me out with u?" "NO" "Mom can I learn singing?" "NO"... Ok fine... If ur "friends" asked : "Lets go shopping." "YES Of COURSE" "Lets bla bla bla" "SURE WHY NOT"... =.=" See... Being a daughter like this... I am really sucked.. and failed.. Nvm.. Everything will be over now...

I am just too stupid last time... Take them as my everything even they dont even give a damn about me... So I decided to kick them out of my life... I dont want to see them anymore... Wont care about them anymore... Start spending my new life with my bb... Hope it wont be fail again(I tried many times about moving to bf house but always fail cause I will miss them much and went back at the end)... We are saving money for our future.. Will get marry one day...

Right now I am worry about my net friend jun.. Jun.. Dont go before I go.. I am sure U are not "cham" than me... If u know my past.. I have a horrible past.. Anything just talk to me k?

A Great Day

LOL... What a Good Day today... I pissed them off (guess so) Why? Oh.. Just because I put my fucking temper on them.. Hahaha... I am SO HAPPY TODAY... XD... Fucking family sucked as usual... Me? Bitch as usual... Great~ Everything just like normal.. I am still not dead yet.. same as them... Oh yea.. Tomorow is my "fake" mom's birthday.. Bitch.. Happy Birthday! XD .. Saw my "blind" dad just now... Why blind? Cause he didnt "see" me at all.. GREAT !! HAHA!! SO Great~ *ho*

I am so hyper active now.. Guess there is no others SHIT to share today.. U guys should be happy cause no need to read more "SHIT" from me.. Cheer~

I'm Tired

Tired.. I Am So tired.. About everything..

Today is a "very" bad day for me.. Woke up - bored... Whole afternoon - bored 2... Got dinner at 8pm.. But my "dad" are late.. He got back home at 7pm BUT he said he gonna go wash his car first(stupid car I hate it).. So.. HE IS LATE.. and HE made himself become late.. But he just put his "f**king bad temper" on me.. Scold me for such a STUPID thing.. Just because I go inside the car with the same door like my brother.. Then he start scolding me... "What for the other door stand for if u all just using 1 door"... SO.. ITS ME AGAIN... GOOD.. Just scold me u JERK.. Since I am still taking and spending UR money.. So I cant blame about it... Just Enjoy UR SCOLD.. Happy Now? =.= .....

An accident just happened on my mom(I am not beside)... Almost fly out of her motobike... Cause a car(Kancil) beside her suddenly turn left while my mom still going straight... So imaging what happen then... My mom lost control.. Luckily didnt fall down(Since my mom holding the bike tightly).. But bang another car which is waiting to for turning(Honda).. and that Kancil's driver(girl) thought wanna settle this with her RM50... (=.= t).. Its not about money dude... U almost kill my mom.. and U made my mom bang on the Honda car le...So at the end.. The Honda's driver just request RM200 as the repair fees(from Kancil driver of course).. Then he gave my mom RM50 (he is consider good and understanding)... My mom seem like nothing(no injured).. Just lost her voice because of scolding =.="

Back to the dinner part... After got scold by him... I trying to ignore it... But mood become not that good already... So I just want to EAT all I can in the dinner... Its a karaoke dinner room , so my mom "asked" me to sing some songs... K then.. Choose Song... When I am about to sing... Mom "asked" me to eat not sing... SHIT! WTH! Made me feel like wanna start singing then stop me... GREAT! MOM U SO GREAT! Always stopping me... I am thinking... Am I ur "real" daughter? huh? I never see a mother that always stop their child's dream.. Like skating... keep asking me not to skate.. Singing.. dont allow me to learn and said its a wasting of money... Piano.. YES SHE ASKED ME TO STOP LAST TIME... ARE U MY REAL MOM? OR U JUST PICK ME UP AT THE "LAM SAP TONG"? *Speechless about them*

I feel myself is just like... Have family = Dont have family... Parents see me as NOTHING(no kidding,Its all depends on their mood)... Brothers just doing their own stuff(eldest bro got his gf..youngest bro got his brunch of friends)... Just a few friends beside(those always willing to talk to me and listen to me).. OH YEA.. The only that WONT left me behind was my BB.. T.T I guess I already die few years ago(suicide) if no him.. No kidding guys.. I have record(i am not proud of it)... Few times suicide just at the end I am still too afraid of die.. I ate medicines... Cut my hands(not too deep but still its bleeding).. I know maybe I have psychology problem(no kidding)... Right now I am really tired... Not those "sleepy" tired.. Tired from my heart.. For my life... For everything... I miss my gran ma so much.. Yes.. So much.. T.T

What can be done? My life just suck.. I am so Tired...

Mood and Me

Yea.. I deleted the post about "My Damn Brother".. He is still my brother anyway... Haha.. Although he is really that bad to me.. But.. Sigh~ Who know what will happen tomorrow? Hehehe.. I am so emo.. All depend on my mood.. XD

Just got back home from Supper at Station 1.. Yea.. Again =.="...DIET SUM DIET!.. (x.x)...Going to sleep soon cause tomorrow have to wake at 8am( bring my gran pa go check up )..By the way.. SO HAPPY my bb came and stay at my house today ^^.. <3

What I did today? Nothing much.. Piano class today.. I play as "bad" as usual =.="..Sigh~ Should practise more.. Oh yea.. I found another person who LOVE singing just like me...Kei...She is good in singing too(so envy >.<)... Especially at the part which need to sing high key one.. I am like.. "OMG!!! Awsome!" So I go back home a bit late.. :p

Then...Online, Chatting a bit..When I was pissed, my gor(online gor ^^) trying to make me happy back... Thanks gor ^^..I found a way to make myself calm...Blogging.. Feel much much better.. I like to read others' blog too...I read veron's blog.. Sorry to hear that he got an accident(glad he is ok).. Now I know why they change their plan on last 2 night.. Sorry that I did blame a bit about u guys T.T... *slap myself*

Today mom and dad have some fight... Dad dont like mom always go out singing until so late..Dad sick already(so his mood seem a bit bad).. :(Honestly I dont really like my mom every night(almost) go sing until so late... 1st -- Its dangerous nowaday for being outside at midnight(about 1am) 2nd -- My mom go there not really for sing but just keep chatting with others( I always see she chat with other men =.=" ) I trust my mom.. BUT.. It doesnt look that good since she is a married woman( 1 woman chatting with a table of men)... Sigh~ and I am sure Dad will be pissed if he saw it... Still... Sigh~

Ok.. I am really tired now.. Good night everyone.. Sweet Dreams.. I probally will~ XD *sweet dreaming* *slur*

Songs and Me

Yo.. Is me again ^^... I am going to bath soon... Cause the bath room now so smelly(my mom smoke just now >.<)... Just finish dancing(simply dance) that made me sweating now... Yea as what I said yesterday I am on DIET.. :p... Today I woke up a bit late... 2pm... I ate instant noodles( T.T )... Log in to Cake for a moment... Saw Kenny.. Talking about that "sggirls" website... I am sure some of u guys know what is that website about... =.="

Today I did practise my piano... Exam pieces( Some bored classical songs u probally never heard before )... Scales( lol my finges >.< )... I play back some old popular songs( long time didnt play so it sound a bit... *shy*)... Poor neighbours.. XD... After piano , I practise singing(simply sing)... LOL.... My neighbours sure HATE me... :p Sorry... Hahahahha...

SONGS.... I LOVE SONGS(those nice one ^^).... Guys.. PENNY Dai(spell wrongly?) SO DAMN DAMN DAMN GOOD... I am in LOVE with her songs... iPenny's album... Go download if u still dont have it... Something I must remind U guys... ALL her song... Composer is herself( I bow her )... and MOST of them so nice to hear...(MARRY ME PENNY although i am not a guy) Everytime I cry when I watch her "Chuang Wai" 's mv( go download if u wanna know what is it about )... Beside Penny's songs... There are many others singers'songs that I love... "Li Shen Jei".. In love with his "Angel"... Is hard to list all of them here... Cause there are many many more songs that I love... Hahaha...

Gonna take my dinner soon... Sigh~ Mom cook "long bean rice" for us... So Bored.. She is getting lazy now... Not even make some soup for us... Sigh~ Maybe I am not taking dinner tonight... Since I am not that hungry now... Wait for Supper :( My honey will be busy these 2 days... Cant see him :( If not he will buy something nice for me to eat... Sigh~ I wonder what should I do tonight... Chatting? Gaming? Ah.. Maybe go out singing with my mom... ^^ Ok... Gonna go bath now... Sticky... Smelly... >.< ... Thanks for reading... Sayonana...

**edit**

Its 7 36pm now... Just ate dinner.. Not long bean rice but sweet and sour pork rice(mom bought from outside for me)... Feel so full now... But I just ate half of that...Talk with my mom just now... About her coming soon birthday party.. Feel so angry about her "friends"... For me.. They are jerks.. U know why I said that?

Oh yea.. My mom's birthday is on Jan.. But they celebrate it at Dec(cause another aunt's birthday was at Dec)...So my mom feel like wanna make a simple party at Jan.. Invite them.. But they thought my mom invite them because want them to give present or sponsor my mom about those foods "again"(cause Dec they already treat my mom)...So they start saying this SHITs to hurt my mom... "Now u say no need we pay, But later u sure want us to pay one." A BITCH said( I dont care if she is older and i shouldnt call her bitch.Who hurt my mom who = bitch.) I am so ANGRY when my mom told me about this... I SPONSOR my mom on her party.. I wanna see if that BITCH gonna be bitching again.. I WILL SLAP her straight away.. But my mom told me they said they dont really want to go since already celebrate on Dec... For me... I DONT Give a DAMN if they are going or not... Just want my mom happy..

About that bitch... Her mouth always full of SHITs(no kidding)...Last time when I got my driving licence.. She said that I will get accident.. ( t=.=t ) NAH! I am sure.. I wont die before she die... So... Peace...

Ok.. Currently I am quite angry now...Will be calm soon... Thanks for reading...

Foods and Diet

:( ... Currently On Diet... But I cant STOP eating.. Breakfast.. Lunch... High Tea..Dinner...and SUPPER... So u guys think... Will I success to make myself slim down?? I doubt it... Ok... Today I woke at about 1pm...Last night I slept at about 6am after waking my damn brother up... I so good? Nah... I am forced to wake him up... Cause his stupid damn alarm wont let me sleep... My BB (Elwin) woke up at about 10/11 am (I think) cause he need to go work... He said this softly beside my ear " BB, I go work la..." My answer was "Oh"/"Ah"(forgot)... I remember that he said twice about he is going to work... =.=" "....."

After taking my breakfast ( curry noodles ) , I log in to CakeRO..Yea I went back to CakeRO... Hahahaha... Sitting inside prontera... Doing nothing... OH Yea... I went into the PVP(Player VS Player) room just now... How brave I am... With my baby novice (hp= 107)...Sitting with another baby novice... Guess what had happen? LOL... We both got killed by a meteor assault(actually he dont mean to kill us but others)...Swt... Sometime I feel RO is really FUNNY...

Today damn hot le... I feel no mood to practise my piano( I know I will be dead at the exam )... So I just sitting inside my air con room( Hahahahaha I start feeling myself lucky XD ) looking for something to do lo... Chatting , Gaming , Searching Webs , Listening to music , SINGING (for myself) and Thinking... Maybe taking a nap later... OH YEA... and BLOGGING... I START LOVING IT... *muacckkk* XD... GG After this I will look forward to PHUAH's new post...

Tonight I think I will go out to MOMO yamcha( Drink Tea ) LOL.... Asking Phuah now if he want to join us... Haih~ Must bring my "Sister" along de ma... Who is my sister? "MISS Phuah" la... Hahahahahhahahahaha... OMG!!!! I will get KILL... RUN!!!!!!

Sigh~ Its 1 am now...Guess what... They changed the plan... From MOMO become Asia Cafe... I know Momo maybe too far for them to come.. But Asia Cafe is not near for me... Somemore I already asked my bb to come to my place( thought going to Momo one ).. 30 minute driving from pyramid to my house(Ampang)...then If i join them at Asia Cafe...need another 30 minute driving to be there... Today he cant stay at my house(last night already did)...So he have to send me back first then only he can go back(Rawang)...GOD.. Althought I really want to join them.. But I really dont want my bb to drive so long la(driving is not that FUN le)...So I didnt join them... End up I become SO DOWN n UPSET...Haih~ Dont ask me why...

Anyway.. Everything is fine now.. I am going out with my bb later.. cause i am SUPER HUNGRY now...SUPPER time.. Haih~ I am still on diet.. Eat first ba.. Tomolo do more SIT UP lo.. =.=" Wonder what they doing over there.. Finish eating? Playing Dai De?

My 2007

I just decided to start my very first bloggie here... Since my english not too good... Hope u guys still can understand what i writing about... I got many words to say but just dunno how to start and where to start it...
Good bye my 2006... and Welcome my 2007... Me and my bb(Elwin) already been together for 4 years... and this year the 5th year... Most of my friends know that how the person I am... Its not that good to be my bf... Cause I am bad... Bad Temper... Sorry BB... For those who dunno I am an emo person... Now u know it... and I am a very sensitive person... My bf said this is because I think too much... Yea.. Maybe.. I am too care about how people think about me... I feel very bad when I know someone hate me or dislike me... So Its not that good to be my friends too... I want some change... I wanna stop thinking these much... Then my life will be much better... Haih~

What bad things happen on me in Year 2006? ermm... Relationship and Friendship problem.. XD Actually all the problem just come from me... Why? Because I think too much... =.=" Oh yea... My family treat me a bit better now... Just except my youngest brother... He always made me feel like either kill him or kill myself... >:\ Beside these, I found myself fell in love with shopping... CANT STOP IT... So I am BANKRUPT now... I can see that my bb also... Sorry T.T.... But I bought so many clothes that made me so HAPPY... Hahahaha... and I swear that I wont buy Esprit anymore... Its totally different between before wash and after washing it... I am in love with Pop Soda, Baleno, Samuei and Kevin and P & CO's clothes... Price ok and so comfortable... ^^ By the way... I stop shopping now.. Cause Sales end.. All the price back to normal.. Oh yea.. But Top Shop and MNG still got 50% sales... XD Not my style... and the price also @.@...

What good things happen le... Love doing bussiness with my BB.. Selling Skates lo.. Almost sold out all the RF4 (beginner skates) ^^... Earn some pocket money also... hahaha... and I just came back from a genting trip with bb and Phuah at 4 Jan - 5 Jan... Quite fun... Just phuah dont play with us on Roller Coaster n some others... Took many new pics... ^^ Post them on friendster already... Oh yea... I just realise Bak Kut Tea there quite nice to eat... XD Ate twice... :p and Steamboat at the outdoor theme park there... Really YUCK... Outside hot but inside still freezing.. >.< Made me feel like wanna vomit.. Damn.. We bought many food lo.. hehe.. Cannot finish them...

Ermm.... Actually I already wasted many years for doing nothing... I dunno if this year still the same thing for me... All I know now is.. I got grade 6 piano exam at August... Wish me luck... and I quit skating this year... Thinking should I learn singing or not... I Really Love It.. But my mom dont allow me to... She said I wasting money only... Sigh~ So what can I do? I also dunno... Work? Nah.. Not I dont want to... I cant work now... I still have to practise my piano.... Isnt it? So I just sitting here... and wait... For what? For my LUCK to come la... Hahahahaha....