Everyday seem has become days living in the hell for me... I do nothing beside sleep , eat , poo poo , bath , and "game"... I am not addicted to it actually... Just feel like I got nothing better to do... Still waiting for the job's reply... But I keep thinking If I could handle the job...
I failed many times and made people feel disappointed about me... Sigh~ I wonder who know that I really dont mean it... They all say that I have "NO" responsibility and take working as "game" (play play only)... Sigh~ I really dont! I paid all my heart into it... I worked hard... I dont even dare to "relax"... I just cant stand the communication... People are hard to guess... Who really treat u with heart and who dont... I am really weak on it... I did try to hold it hard inside..
Until the day I went collapse and cry out loud... I scared my mom and others... I feel like myself is dying during that period...
I feel scare now... I have a serious problem on how to "let go" all the stuff... I take things too serious on mind... I dunno If I can handle this job this time... Should I try? Will I hurt someone again? T.T I really dont want to be a bad one again... I feel tired for my life... Really really tired...
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