When I Feel Bored

Just start working on monday... Selling handphones.... Kinda bored... and I am quite "out"dated.. Lucikly... Still got customer willing to buy phone from me... Sold 2 out... Haha... Then today wasnt that good "luck"... 0 phone out... T.T Does this mean no salary for me? T.T Sigh~ So when I was bored... I wrote many things in some papers... About love... About a letter that I wanted to write so long... About some others stuffs... Just simply write...

LOL... One of them is about... I think myself dont like that guy anymore... The one used to be the one I like the most... Just excited when I saw him last 2 days ago... My heart beats doesnt change to a high speed for him... Does it mean... I Dont like him anymore? XD Great!!! The my heart still got a little free space now? XD Grrr... *slap myself* I know I know... XD I got my BB already... Shouldnt think about others now... LOL... Honestly... The place I work now... Everyday can see quite many "handsome" one... Just walk through me... Since my stall near with "toilet"... LOL... Dont worry its not smelly... Hope my heart strong enough... Can stay away from the handsome one... Dont worry... BB still the best!!! XD

By the way... Today I received a call... From K... She told me that "he" is looking for me... Made me feel so excited... I dunno what he gonna tell me... K told me was a good news... But I dont want myself feel so happy about it first... Cause... Always when I hope it so much... It disappointed me then... I hope thursday can come faster now... Cause we will meet at Thursday... "GOD! Please dont fool me anymore!!!!" *I pray*

Just went to the party... Ionna won the 2nd places... I did vote for her ^^... Kawaii!!!! Beside this... Everything still the same... I am thinking... Should I be the first who say "hi"? Will I get respond from her then? I just dunno how and where to start... Sigh~ Whatever....

I am Quiting

Twisted again... Made me feel really bored... Everyday spend with the pain... So I think... Why should I still making myself injured because of this? I know that I will never get anything back from this... Nah... Now I dont want anything back from this... It used to be my everything once... Although mom n dad always ask me to quit... I dont listen... and Now I start to feel regret... Why dont I listen? Look at my foot... Both of them with extra "bones" or "meat" or whatever u call... Look so scary... and my Right leg... my Back... always in pain... Its ruined my future... I have to spent the rest of my life with all these pain...

Axel? Although I can land... But... Is it really that good?? I mean although u can land it... But why do u want it so much? For me... Yea... Honestly... I feel so proud when I landed my axel... But try to think back... I paid a lots for it... My all Saving for the skate... My time... and My both leg... Twisted many times.... Does it really worth? If you ask me two week ago... You will get a YES... I WILLING TO DIE FOR IT... But the truth is...
I really cant... I really cant waste anything, anymore on it... Yea... After freestyle 6 Test... I will stop... LOL Why after 6? Since I got double sal... I cant waste it... Just try my best... If failed then never mind lo... Hahaha...

Will start working soon... Although I really dont like it... But no choice... I gotta work... Or else I will be suffer for the spends of the days... and Its time to save for money to prepare a nice present for my honey.... <3 <3
Wanna learn again singing... So gotta work harded now... Should practise hard on my piano now... Grade 7 d... v(^.^)v.... Actually I know I am not good enough on my piano... Sigh~ So lazy... What to do...

Friends... Hehe... I got em back... I really should grow up a bit... But gimme some time... I am still learning.... I know I am childish now... Just gimme some time...

Yesterday.Today and Tomorrow

Wow... I am kinda "Hardworking" this month~ XD Wrote so many stuffs here... Is good~ =p....Maybe just because this month is my birth month~ XD got quite many presents this year... Hahaha... Got my first "Roxy" t-shirt from A.C.Milan,A.Jennifer,Dian n Bee Leng.... Thanks a lot... haha... Although I know they wont read this... then a "Nike" t-shirt from A.Irene... Thanks Thanks... How come she know that I love Nike so much? XD then 2 Converse t shirt from Aiza and somebody... and a Kawaii Cup from S.C...and an Angpao... haha...

Wanna know what present my honey buy for me?? =p SECRET!!!! LOL.... Jk... Actually... His present is.... "NO LIMIT WALKING ATM MACHINE x 1"(My boyfriend lo) WAKAKAKAKA.... Nice? No la... Just lemme buy those that I need and I wanted so much one lo... Hehe... ^.^

Lets back to the topic... What I did Yesterday???ermmm... Friday - Skating Lesson... Fell badly....yea again.... then TWISTED my right leg AGAIN.... Super bad luck right? Sigh~ Then... ermmm... Nothing much.... Played with some kids.... I love kids... Dont you realise that? XD Made some bracelet for them... Ionna still hate me T.T... Knew a new little gal named Hally... She is cute... At least she loved me ^^ Then have dinner with A.C.Milan ,U.Wong and Dian...

Today? ermmm.... So exited about the date later(Red Box Sing K)... With Kwan... So long time didnt see her already... Honestly... She is such a good person... Although I did so many bad things on her last time... She still forgive me and still staying there waiting for me... Sigh... I feel myself like a child who has lost her way... and now finally find the way to get back home... Thanks a lot Kwan... I just dunno why I always like that... Sigh~

Tomorrow.... Honestly I got no plan for tomorrow... Sunday... Seem to be a bad day for me... If I go to the ice rink... I will meet those I dont like de... LOL Dont be suprise about that.... I got quite " ALOT " enermies.... Will stay home maybe... Kinda like my house now cause I can sleep all I want... Then play the computer and piano all I want... No one will disturb me... XD No one at home how to disturb me leh... =.="

Well... Its all for now... Good night~

New Life New Hairstyle

I decided to start my new life... with my new hairstyle... LOL... Actually nothing special there.. Really... Just I think I need a "New Look"... From inside to outside... ermmm... Just pass my birthday... Done a small party... Honestly... That party was cool and fun... But no more... Cause I ignore some of them now... Read the previous page and you will know why... Grrr... Whatever~

I am me,myself... I swear already I wont let "anyone" to hurt me... No one not anymore... I ignore few of them... Although just because of some very "small" case... for you guys maybe... But for me... Its enough to lemme stay away from them... Dont too over joking on me... Serious... I am not those type that can "PLAY"... I cannot... I so "small gas"... Really... So... Bla~

I did something really bad... Yea I know its... No choice... This is me... When you are "NOT" my friend anymore... Why should I treat u as a "friend"? XD Nah~ Dont waste our time huh? Dont worry... Actually not their fault or whatever... Just me... Too sensitive... Nah Its fine.. I dont want to change it... I dont think I need to change it.. Since its "ME"... Just remember to stay away... Pretend never know me before... Maybe that is better... I am RUDE am I? XD Never mind... I dont care anything nowaday... I left nothing dont I? XD Ermm Yea I left my Elwin....

Congrat to that Bastard that just go up to my "I HATE THE MOST" list... Num 1.... XD Yea A Boy... Poor Him... Now In My Eyes... He is just a PIECE OF SHIT! Although some of them see him as a god or something... Different person Different eyes... I hate him the most... No Reason... Or Maybe there is TOO MANY Reasons... Now I just dont want to see/ talk about him anymore....

ermmm... Beside these bad things happen... Lets talk about my family... I stopped talking with that "man" aka those u will call as a "dad"... My youngest bro? Sometime sometime... Eldest? Ok Ok lo... Mom? I LOVE MOM! Well sometime... At least... She talk with me everytime... Well... She happy then I also will happy de la....

I am kinda tired about Ice Skating now... Will focus on my piano... It become a Bad Dream for me... Nightmare...

Dear Diary

Oct...My birth month~ Just realise that it have been a while... I never log into here... Since I stop talking with em? Actually... If you ask me why now... I got no answer for you... But when I go into Phuah's blog... I saw that their life there... Seem so happy... Hahaha... Really... I feel happy for em...

Many things have changed... My life... My Friends list... As I said not long ago in my friendster profile... I am a sensitive person... Friends for me is easy to get but hard to keep... Everytime when I feel or I think that they are going to hurt me... I will leave them... Without reason... or When I feel that I am not that important for them too... Just like today... Disappointed again... Just realise I treat them with my true heart and try my best to help them... I wont get the same treated from them... Seem like I did the stupid things again....I should never ever pay my true heart... Why always just fall into it? Friendship?

Today I cried... I sad... I totally broken heart... There is no one that can really understand and talk to me... Except a new friend who called "Cold"... At least he lemme finish my words... Although he is not that close or that good friend with me... Still... His status is always "Online" for me... At least lemme know that I still got "someone" to talk with... There is a friend... I thought we were good friend... But everytime I talk to her... I will just get this "Ohhhh"... hahaha... Seem like I am not important enough for her... Even when I am in this sad moment... She just rushing offline but not staying for me... Never mind... I know what to do now...

I swear.. Not anymore... My heart my smiling face... I will keep em tightly... No one worth to get em... No one... Except the one I left... Elwin.. My everything... The reason I live for... My Only family... I willing to give all up now... Mom Dad Bros... I willing to give em up... Today I totally see through everything... Clear enough.. Till I feel like... "Is this really my family? Hahahahaha... Why me? This is my life?"

Someone's wedding dinner today... No space for me so I stay at home... Wait till they come back... No one ask that if I eat already... Never mind I wait... Ask mom if she can tapao... Mom busy with friends... Never mind... Dad? Busy working... Come back just a while.. Then rushing out... Never mind.. Wait Elwin... 2am... My brunch I took at 1pm... Feel that I need to eat... Called Jia Yoke... She said she will come and take me... So happy... I wait... Then She called me again... Said cannot make it... She gotta go out with her family... Oh... :( ... Try to wait then... Called Dad again... He said "You think I no need work? I got so much works here... I eat already" Oh... Suddenly feel that... Why just one meal... No one willing to eat with me? Tears cannot control.. I hide in my room... Cry... Looking at my msn list... Found that "Cold" is in online status... Pmed him... and said my things... I guess he dunno that I am crying... I didnt said I cry... finish my words... Feel like no help... Search for another one... Pmed Kar Meng... She is watching drama.. I said nvm... She said is ok... So I told her... Suprise to hear that she havent eat also... Feel much better... Then I saw Kei online.... Pmed her.. Told her... I totally broken heart... She said why... Then i forgot what we chat... but just a while... She rushing to offline... "Oh" Hahahaha... Got it now... She stopped my tears... Instead of making me wanna close my heart from her... No more true heart... I decided to close it tightly... No more smiling face... She dont worth it... Isnt it?

Mood feel better when chatting abit with Cold... Chatting about my pass.. then dad came back... Bathing then he ask that if I wanna go tapao... I feel happy that he still care about me... But so fast... He made me drops into a big deep hole.... Hahaha... While going to tapao... We chat a bit... I asked that if I can eat there instead of tapao... He seem to answer it with a very bad mood... "I got lots of works havent finish.." "Isnt it saturday today?" "So?You think I no need work?" "I thought today u still playing mahjong in afternoon?" "Mahjong is my free time! I got my own free time! Non of ur bussiness! You got car license why dont you drive?" "We can U turn go home actually if you are that busy.. I can dont eat" "Until now only u say this... I already drive this far" "If you are really that busy u can tell me not to go tapao" "Whateva you like to say"
end conversation...

This family.. I really got no hope on it anymore... Marry? Not as simple as you think... Cold told me... " I finally know why u dont trust others " yea... Just because I grow in this family... I learn it... from them... Some words that I always got from him... "If one day I leave this home...You all will be eating shit" "I dont care whateva you all will be in future... I just want to keep my money till I old"