Glasses Heart

I am falling again.. Into the deep hole.. How long.. It took
sometime to rebuild myself and my confident.. But it just
fade away... Everything fade away... Due to my sickness..
I realise a lots of things.. The happiness is no longer
staying with me.. I can hardly smile again... No more..

What had I remain? Its empty... I feel so emo... But I cant
get myself a very good reason.. Why am I emo..
What do I want? Do I really want all of them die?
Or what else do I really want?

My heart have been broke into pieces a while ago..
I told myself.. Nothing can be really worst than.
Its not the worst situation... Always not.. But..
Who really know? How bad it can go? How far can I last?
How to get myself survive in all these?

I am not crying.. No tears are coming out...
Is it all dry already? So that I cant cry now?
I feel numb.. Really numb... I am out of my mind..
I dunno what am I typing now and who do i refering to...

Gran ma.. I really do miss you..

Can you hear me?